-- renege. / ANEWSTART ;

20040730

myself.

I hate myself. Like totally. Yesterday, I failed my 2.4 km run and today I wasn't able to swim for long distances. Reason? My fucking stupid illness. I wish I never had Asthma and I wish I'm like the people who are perfectly normal. And oh yes, I have another stupid illness too, well, sort of, that is I'm losing SO MUCH hair everyday. It's like you're losing like 70 strands or more of hair per day. People said my hair is really healthy because it's staright but do they really know? If you look closely, part of head is ... erm, ...? I don't know what to say and I don't think I want people to know about it.

In conlusion, I'm a fucking loser and I fucking hate myself.

To everyone out there, I'm so sorry for cursing but I just can't take it anymore.

Anyways, god, tomorrow there's Master Parade. Sighh. Which means my squad will probably get more punishments...

♥ Zahidah

20040728

waddahell.

Okay, I'm going to fit in the stories of my life these days in this entry.

Yesterday, we had scolidings from Sec 3s. Whatever sia. Everything, they put blames on the Sec 1s. You people don't rock, the Euphorians do. So much better. Chaos happened just after you peopl took over. Well, anyway, I got to know that I failed my Safety First. WTF!!!! I was sooo upset yesterday that I just went straight to the bus stop right after the stupid lecture. Oh yes, who the hell goes SMSing the seniors from internet and disturb them? Whoever you are I FUCKING HATE YOU!!! Because of YOU, we got blamed. Maybe you're from my squad, maybe you're from other places too. SO FUCK OFF. I cant stand this anymore!

Today, the Sec 2s' turn to get scoldings from Sec 3s. I saw one of them crying in school just now. Of course, me and the rest never do anything lah because of that STUPID NPCC rule. That's the thing I hate most in NP.

After CSP, us 4 musketeers went to library to do our school work. As usual, maams everywhere. Sighh. Sometimes I really wish I joined other CCAs instead of this but I already started to love this... especially my squadmates. You people are the best. =)

♥ Zahidah

20040724

today sucks.

Today seriously sucks. I hate today's parade. Especially the Unit Activity. One of the rules says we shouldn't backstab each other, but our seniors did that. :( I read in their blogs, they totally hate us. And just now they say to try to put in each other's shoes, how would they feel? Well, you know what, we're already hurt. What have we done wrong? Ugh.

I really have to go. Bye. So sad. Sighhh.

♥ Zahidah

20040722

shit

AHHHHH someone took my National Library books. Damn! I intended to go to Tampines REgional Library after school. Before that, went to the school library to do my puisi with Aisha, Khai and Fad. So I put my books beside my bag outsie the library... I think. And when I wanted to go home, it's gone. :( I'm so scared now.

Ugh, can everyone, like, STOP calling me innocent??! It'a really is a bad thing because that means that I'm so kental. Sigh. Myabe I'll cut my hair short...hah. And totally change my style. How's that?

♥ Zahidah

20040720

Sheesh. Finally, I've finished my poem. Kinda lame, if you tell me. Here it is:

My Home
By Nurzahidah bte Abdul Gaffar (26) of 1E9, TKGS.

Look out from my window
What can I see?
Row of pots of beautiful plants
Alligned against the wall of my corridors
As my neighbours walked past
And took in the fresh air
From my wonderful little garden

Look right, look left
Indian, Malay, and Chinese
My neighbours; all different
But that’s what makes us Singaporeans
Though we’re not the same
It’s never a shame
To mix with one another
And learn the cultures
Of other races

Three storeys down
In front of my block of flats
A recreational park, there is
Where people gather and meet
As the kids play
The aunties gossip
The young people exercise
My neighbourhood; my home, that is
And I’ll always love it

Lame huh? Oh well. I'm not talented at this stuff so yeah...

Ahhhh! Tomorrow there's Maths CA. Seriously, I'm like so scared to get E8 again. Like who doesn't right? Hope that there's no algebra questions... or I'm dead meat. Sigh.

Okay, what has my life become to? Everyday talk about NPCC, maam... sheesh. Nothing else to talk about ah. Instead of avioiding the maams, like some of my squaddies do, we keep getting closer to them. It's like stalking. Ugh. Haha, yes, stalking. Well, not me actually. But anyways, I've like changed so much from my life in primary school... I'm not LOUD anymore. What telah happened?? It's like I've become quite a quiet person... Hmm. I want to be the old me. :(

♥ Zahidah

20040718

zaza.shasha.ayun

Whee, new layout featuring me, aisha and khai. Sorry, Fad, I don't have your pic... =( I'll blog later 'cause I got to go.

♥ Zahidah

20040717

First parade with new ICs

Okay, let me tell you about today, my first parade with my new ICs...

So, I woke up at 7.ooam and then sleep again till 7.15am. After that, I realised it was late already so I took my shower and etc. Went out from the house at 8.00am. In my mind, I thought I was going to be real late.

Thankfully, I reached there just in time. Phew. Oh yes, I didn't have my spectacles on me 'cause it broke, and pratically, I have to see with really blur vision. But anyways, first we had Circuit Training. It's okay, I guess. Next, there's drills. Ahh. That's one of the fun part. For some reasons, I seem to like today's drills very much, unlike the previous parades. Then, we had Interactions. It's pretty boring. All we did was say our names, classes, blah blah blah. Finally, we had Unit Activity. I love this part damn much. So yeah. Hmm... about our ICs, they're okay and even though they hate us, they pretended not to. =)

Sigh. I know i haven't been blogging much but oh well. I'll try to blog a long entry now, alrighty?

Wheee! My brother had just came back from the NDP 2004 Preview and I'm jealous. I'm reading the"A Progress Society" and I saw TKGS being mentioned somewhere. Haha. No big deal, yeah.

♥ Zahidah

20040711

Reason

YAY, new layout! Featuring Hoobastank. ;D I spent my time today making this. Like it? I like it lots. HOOBASTANK IS HOT! Heh. Speaking of which, thanks to the Sec 4s for singing this yesterday at P.O.P. You people got me inspired. Oh yes, new song too. Go listen!

Ahhh tomorrow there's school. I hate school. I hate my offline life. I think I rather talk to strangers on the net. But anyway, Maam Asyyura was sooooo nice. We talked through smses and she gave me faith and all. Thanks, maam! :D

Okay, since it's almost midnight, I think I better go. Tata. ;D

♥ Zahidah

20040710

POP

Ugh ugh ugh!!! I'm like kind of furious right now, not exactly sure why. I read my one of my new IC's blog and aiyohhh... all the Sec 3s hate us, Sec 1s. What sia... And all 3 of my ICs hate us to the core, man. They cried when they names were announced as our new ICs. I fucking hate this!!!! Well, I think Sec 2, Sec 3 and Sec 4 squads all hate us. What's so bad about Kamikaze? Ughhh. I can't stop ranting, I just hate this! My whole squad was so sad that Maam Asyikin (I bet she hates us too :()wasn't our new IC. I think she and Maam Sila was like the only ones who's quite nice...

Whateverlah. I'm like so disappointed and sad sia. :( And of course, we're going to kena by our ICs badly. UGHHHH. For all this while, they just pretend to be nice, when they actually really hate us.

To the Sec 4s, goodbye.

Aiyah, I'm like so angry. JTCASIDTFGQOTFQPTVO8QVQ;V'Q[;OQV!!!! *sighs and sobs*

♥ Zahidah

20040707

Blah.

Okay, fine. I lied when I said I want to change this layout. Damn. What in the world is wrong with me these days? I'm always hooked up on this computer, with nothing necessary to do and I've been neglectingmy studies. WTF. I don't know what but this computer has got like some charms on me. Whatever.

Today was okay. Blah blah blah. As usual. Aisha didn't come to school, I think she got an appointment or something and it wasn't exciting or kecoh without her, meaning not much fun. :( She missed her English CA and probably will be in trouble (as in, get 0) if she doesn't have a MC. Well, that's what Ms Lau said.

English CA was okay but I think I'm gonna fail because I totally screwed up the last section, that is Vocab. Ugh. I feel like cursing right now so bear with me, alright? FUCKKKKK. I think I hate myself. Yes, I really do.

We had CS and it was pretty much boring. That's because I know by heart the stuff Mr Lim taught. Marquee? I hate that thing. It's annoying, if you look at it carefully. :|

Anyways, after school, in bus 31, there's these two Secondary 3 freaks from VS who kept talking about girls. RGS, Cedar, KC, CCHSM, TKGS. What the hell sia... They were seating right behind me, while I was busy sketching (and eavedropping too), heh. So they talked. And the malay guy was throwing bits of erasers/papers at me. Weirdo. When we reached Tampines Interchange, I accidentally dropped my pencil case without knowing when I was about to get ready to allight. One of them picked it up for me so I said thanks lah. And then my eraser dropped and I said thanks again. After that, the chinese guy told me about my hair and I realised that they were throwing bits of paper/eraser on my hair. Was that flirting or what? Guys these days. So I cleared my hair and allighted with Fadhilah.

We took bus 291 to go home and allighted at Tampines Mart.

So that's today, I guess.

♥ Zahidah

20040704

Hey

Hey, sorry for the lack of update. I was being very busy. I seriously need to get myself working on a new layout for this stupid blog. Im bored with this one already. Well whatever.

Tomorrow is Youth Day, meaning that there's no school tomorrow. YAY! I hate school. Very. Much. Ugh. It's because of homework and stuff. Well, anyway, Friday was a blast. I love the Project REAP fair, the food are yummy!

Pray for me so that I'll be working on my blog. Thanks in advance. :)

♥ Zahidah